WHEN LOVE HAPPENS

Love is as strong as death.

What would a man do for love?

It was Brandy that said in her hit song, Have You Ever, "Have you ever loved somebody so much it makes you cry?" So many people are desperately in search of love but can hardly recognize true love when it shows up. "How do you know love when you can't explain it?" That was my question to an audience of about hundred undergraduates last Sunday at Red Val 2014 (see my hash tag #RedVal2014 on Twitter).

Unarguably, there is a premonition that love is an unexplainable feeling of affection for someone; and love songs from western tunes in America and Europe blare it loudly. Listen to Spanish Guitar by Toni Braxton, Brown Eyes by Destiny Child, I call it Love by Lionel Richie, and Brandy's Have You Ever; one thing is common to them: love is a feeling. If love is a feeling, then it won't last. Little wonder it was recently sung that Love is Wicked!

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WHEN LOVE HAPPENS 2

Love is as strong as death.

In the first part of this post, I began sharing about "When Love Happens". I continue from where I stopped.

...I taught that love is like a 3-D movie. It has three faces. The Greek clearly understand this mystery and as such they had whole temples dedicated to the goddess of love in every ancient Greek city. They taught the three faces: Agape, Phileo and Eros.

Agape is unreserved commitment to a person, not necessarily unconditional. It honors the commitment for the good of the other. It is selfless and focused on others. True love must begin from here.

Phileo is fondness for the person. It is committed to companionship and friendship. Phileo enjoys the company of the other. It is open and does not pretend. It is anchored on common values, vision, interests and sometimes background. Ur sets the tone for the next and third part.

Eros is the romantic part. It is packed with electricity flashing through your spine at the sight of the person. It accounts for sexual attraction and wanton. Eros generates all the feelings of affection and romance. It is the part everyone generally calls love; yet it's just a third of the picture.

When love happens, it must have begun from Agape, grown into Phileo and then erupted into Eros. That was my experience, unlike what Hollywood said in the songs. Love isn't fallen into; it is grown into.

Be sure to know...when love happens!

Happy Valentine's Day.

To love,
Adeleke David Adekunle
[Mr. Effectiveness]