WHEN LOVE HAPPENS

Love is as strong as death.

What would a man do for love?

It was Brandy that said in her hit song, Have You Ever, "Have you ever loved somebody so much it makes you cry?" So many people are desperately in search of love but can hardly recognize true love when it shows up. "How do you know love when you can't explain it?" That was my question to an audience of about hundred undergraduates last Sunday at Red Val 2014 (see my hash tag #RedVal2014 on Twitter).

Unarguably, there is a premonition that love is an unexplainable feeling of affection for someone; and love songs from western tunes in America and Europe blare it loudly. Listen to Spanish Guitar by Toni Braxton, Brown Eyes by Destiny Child, I call it Love by Lionel Richie, and Brandy's Have You Ever; one thing is common to them: love is a feeling. If love is a feeling, then it won't last. Little wonder it was recently sung that Love is Wicked!

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WHEN LOVE HAPPENS 2

Love is as strong as death.

In the first part of this post, I began sharing about "When Love Happens". I continue from where I stopped.

...I taught that love is like a 3-D movie. It has three faces. The Greek clearly understand this mystery and as such they had whole temples dedicated to the goddess of love in every ancient Greek city. They taught the three faces: Agape, Phileo and Eros.

Agape is unreserved commitment to a person, not necessarily unconditional. It honors the commitment for the good of the other. It is selfless and focused on others. True love must begin from here.

Phileo is fondness for the person. It is committed to companionship and friendship. Phileo enjoys the company of the other. It is open and does not pretend. It is anchored on common values, vision, interests and sometimes background. Ur sets the tone for the next and third part.

Eros is the romantic part. It is packed with electricity flashing through your spine at the sight of the person. It accounts for sexual attraction and wanton. Eros generates all the feelings of affection and romance. It is the part everyone generally calls love; yet it's just a third of the picture.

When love happens, it must have begun from Agape, grown into Phileo and then erupted into Eros. That was my experience, unlike what Hollywood said in the songs. Love isn't fallen into; it is grown into.

Be sure to know...when love happens!

Happy Valentine's Day.

To love,
Adeleke David Adekunle
[Mr. Effectiveness]

LOVE IN TOKYO

It is no longer in vogue, but back in the early 1990’s this was the thing! Whenever a guy and a girl were playing love on the roadside, rather than say they are so in love, the expression was “see love in Tokyo”.

I am not a hard core relationship specialist, but I have some experience and some really profound insight about relationship matters, one of which I want to share with you. We all experience painful moments particularly caused by those that we trusted wholeheartedly. There are many ladies whose hearts bleed continuously because of a beloved who was unfaithful. Many guys carry deep-seated hurt caused by a girl who betrayed their trust. The danger I have so often found is that the aggression and hurt is transferred to other innocent individuals who come the way of these wounded lions and tigers. Without knowing the graveness of their emotional state, they destroy potentially beneficial relationships because of past hurt and negative experiences.

My word to you if you are in this state is to look beyond the experience. You cannot claim to be going forward with your concentration on your rear. You are bound to crash! Take your eyes off the past. Hard as it may seem, it is beneficial for you to progress in life. Bitterness is like holding on to a tree and asking the tree to let go of you. You have to let go, else you may miss out on the real treasure you seek.

If the whole world is cruel, there will always be an exception that perfectly suits you. The day I found that perfect exception, I knew the pain was worth the while. Why do I say this? My emotions had been tried and I had mastered them. See these painful experiences as opportunities to become better in preparation for that special person that will sweep you off your feet.

There is always an exception that perfectly suits your individuality; prepare by first taking your eyes off the past. Next, develop yourself to become such a desirable person. Finally, wait patiently for that special person to cross your path. Listen carefully to the lyrics of this song from Glee; it says “You are the only Exception!”

There is always an exception!

You are an Icon!

To your emotional effectiveness,

Adeleke David

Effectiveness Expert